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2019年09月21日 13:12:33    日报  参与评论()人

龙岩看不育正规医院福州市治疗多囊卵巢综合症那家比较好宁德那些医院人流 By Tammy Worth 作者 塔米 沃斯翻译:飘荡的秋千When Thea and her husband moved to Los Angeles a few years ago, she had no friends close by and was alone frequently while her husband worked long hours. Though Thea, who asked that her full name not be used, says her husband was the "best friend someone could have," the spark, and sex, were gone.几年前西娅和丈夫搬迁到洛杉矶时,她周围没有朋友,在丈夫整天忙于工作时,她经常感觉非常孤单。按照西娅的要求,我们不用她全名。尽管西娅说丈夫曾经是她的知己,但现在两人之间已没有了火花,也没有性生活。Seeking company and a little romance, Thea became a member of AshleyMadison.com, a web site that connects married people wanting to have an affair.渴求陪伴也想要寻找些许的浪漫,于是西娅注册成为AshleyMadison.com网站的会员,该网站中有很多已婚却有出轨意图的人。After a few dates with a man she connected with, she began an ongoing affair. "He was giving me all of the stuff my husband wasn't -- attention and affection," she says.在和一个男人约会几次之后,她真的有了外遇。“他能给我一切我丈夫不能给的东西——那就是关注和爱慕”她说。There are many reasons for infidelity, such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction. But experts say that a large majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex or attention, and women looking to fill an emotional void.产生不忠行为的原因有很多,比如说报复,无聊,性的新鲜感所带来的刺激,性成瘾等。但专家认为大多数时候,不忠行为的动机因男女而有差异,男人更多的是寻求性或者关注,而女人是为了填补情感的空虚。"Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I don't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" says Winifred Reilly, MA, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, Calif. "They say they wanted to have someone who would look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again."加利福尼亚州伯克利市的一位有执照的婚姻家庭方面的临床医师,威妮弗蕾德 蕾利说,女人们总是告诉我说:我很孤单,没有朋友,和爱人也非常冷淡,总是被对方熟视无睹。她们想要有人能直视她们的眼睛,重新唤起她们的。Emotional Reasons情绪上的原因Every affair is different, and so are every woman's reasons for her involvement.每一场外遇都是不同的,女人们的理由也各不相同。That said, men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner, says Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and the author of Why Him? Why Her? and Why We Love.罗格斯大学的人类学家海伦 费舍尔士,著有《他?她?我们为什么相爱》一书,她说,男人更倾向于把性作为不忠行为的动机,并且较少会与婚外情的另一半真的坠入爱河。Women tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness, Fisher says.而女人们总是试图和自己的爱人建立情感上的联系,她们更容易因为孤单而有外遇。"Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in ... while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat," Fisher tells WebMD. "Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are -- for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate.".女人更容易对自己所处的关系不满,而男人却能更快乐,也会存在欺骗行为。费舍尔说,女人比男人更倾向于填补她们的婚姻或者干脆跳脱出去,而对于男人们来说,这样的行为不是他们的首选。In one of her studies, Fisher found that 34% of women who had affairs were happy or very happy in their marriage. A greater percentage of men who had affairs, 56%, were happy in their marriage.据费舍尔的一项研究表明,有外遇的女人中,34%在婚姻中都很快乐或者非常快乐。而与之对应的男人比例要更高,达到56%。In the Genes?遗传因素?The theory that adultery is "natural" for men, fulfilling their Darwinian need to sp their seed, has been around a long time. But the connection women look for when having affairs may have evolutionary roots as well.把外遇行为看作是男人的本性的理论早已存在,认为男人这样的行为不过是满足繁衍后代的需求。但女人的外遇行为似乎也有进化方面的缘由。The theory, Fisher says, is that from the earliest days, women paired with a primary mate to have children. But as women went out to gather food, they slept with other men, creating an insurance policy -- to have someone who would help rear children and provide resources should their mate die.费舍尔说,这样的说法起源于人类最早期,女人和原始的男伴结合然后生育。但当女人开始外出寻食,她们和别的男人发生了关系,因此似乎获取了一层保障——要是她们的伴侣死了,还有人能够帮她们养育孩子并提供资源。"Women who slept around collected more meat, protection, and resources from their lovers," Fisher says. "She might even have an extra child to create more genetic variety in her lineage; if some children die, others will live on."那些到处和人发生性关系的女人能从她们的伴侣那获得更多的肉、更多的保护以及资源,费舍尔说。她甚至能拥有更多的孩子,尽而在自己的直系关系中产生更多的基因多样性;如果某个孩子夭折,其他的也能继续生存。That theory is controversial and can’t be proven or disproven eons later. But experts say that women's motivations to have affairs are typically more than sexual. That's not to say that some women don't have affairs just for the sex or that sex wasn't important -- but in general, women's motivations aren't just about sex.这个理论非常有争议,并且即便是在千万年后也无法明真伪。但专家认为,女人发生外遇的动机通常不只是性那么简单。这不代表女人为了性而不发生外遇或者性没那么重要——总的来说,女人不只是为了性。"I don't think women are doing it because they want to have more sex, but I don't think they mind if they get it," Reilly says. "It is not really about sex per se as much as the experience of being with somebody."我认为女人出轨不只是因为获取更多的性满足,但我认为如果能获得满足她们也不介意。蕾利说。事实上,性本身不是重点,重要的是“与某人在一起”的感觉。Jumping Ship用外遇作为跳脱不幸婚姻的手段Diane, who asked that her full name not be used, left her marriage emotionally long before she had an affair. The Tulsa, Okla. woman says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage.戴安,据本人要求不用全名,在身体出轨前早已精神出轨。这个来自俄克拉菏马州塔尔萨市的女子这样说道:她的失望透顶且无性的婚姻让她感觉非常幻灭。"You feel the loss of your dreams and hopes and how you thought things would turn out," Diane says. "I was very lonely; I could never understand the concept of being lonely in a marriage until it happened."“你感觉自己失去了梦想和希望,也预感到自己所想最终会变成现实”戴安说。“我感觉非常孤单;在此之前我永远没有办法想象,结婚了还会如此孤单。”She began to flirt with other men to get attention, but she never considered having an affair. That is, not until a business trip landed her with a friend in a beautiful setting drinking wine. She began a long-term affair, a path she admits she was likely on anyway as her marriage dissolved.她开始和其他男人调情以获取关注,但从没想过出轨。直到一次出差,她和朋友在一个非常优美的环境下喝酒,由此才开始了一段长期的外遇经历,这段经历似乎都让她感觉不到婚姻的存在了。Using another partner to transition out of a bad marriage is one of the common reasons women have affairs.用另一段关系以度过糟糕的婚姻,是女人有外遇的常见原因之一。"They are on a sinking ship and use it as a life raft because they don't want to just jump into the cold water," Reilly says.蕾利说,她们就好像在一艘沉船上,用外遇作为救生艇,因为她们不想要直接跳入冰冷的水中。She also sees some women have affairs during periods of vulnerability or life change, like when a child goes off to college or after a job loss. They may see it as a form of comfort during upheaval. 她也看到有些女人在生活变动或者脆弱时期有了外遇,比如孩子上大学了,或者失业了。她们把出轨看做是变动时期的一种安慰方式。Another common reason is a cry for help in the marriage. One of Reilly’s patients had an affair, ended it, and then told her husband as a way to point out they were in more trouble than he thought.另一个常见的原因就是把外遇作为挽救婚姻的诉求。蕾利的一个病人出了轨,然后了断,再用这样的方式告诉她的丈夫,她们的处境比他想象的糟的多。Reilly says her clinical experience has shown that affairs are almost always caused by problems in the marriage. Therapy, at times, can be helpful to avoid going down that path.蕾利说临床实践表明外遇通常是由婚姻中出现了问题所致。治疗有时可以帮助她们,避免走向出轨这条路。"People have affairs because they are looking for something," Reilly says. Although she sees a number of couples grappling with infidelity, "more people come to me [before it happens] because they want to save their marriage."她还说:人们之所以出轨是因为他们渴求着什么。尽管她看到一些人纠缠于各种不忠行为。但更多的人是在出轨前来找我寻求帮助,因为他们想挽救婚姻。Accidental or On Purpose偶然的或者是有意的Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens," because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say.与男人相比,女人相对较少会出现偶然外遇的情况,专家认为,这主要是由于她们思考的时间更长,想的也更多有关。Some women take time " to warm up to it," says Marcella Weiner, EdD, PhD, an adjunct professor at Marymount Manhattan College in Brooklyn, N.Y. "Going in and leaving quickly isn't their thing. Men can walk away more easily, because their emotions are just different and it is unusual for a woman who wants to have sex and forget about it." 玛赛拉 维纳,教育学士,同时也是位于纽约州布鲁克林区的玛丽芒曼哈顿学院的副教授,她认为,有些女人是慢慢的才会进入状态,速战速决根本不是她们的风格。男人的情感模式不同,他们可以迅速的抽离,对于一个女人来讲,想要性关系,事后又当什么都没发生过是很难的。It may be an old notion that women are the ones who get attached in a relationship, Reilly says. But she sees that women do connect with their partners in affairs and think more about taking part in one.一个古老的观点认为在一段关系中,女人通常是容易被套牢的一方,蕾利说。她看到有些女人对于出轨的伴侣依然保持关系,而如果她们自己出轨,她们则会犹豫不决。"Women really can recognize the risk for them," Reilly says, pointing to the possibility of losing their partner because of an affair.当提到因为外遇而有可能失去另一半时,蕾利说:事实上女人可以认清这个风险。When it comes to affairs, society tends to more harshly judge women than men, Reilly says.她还说:关于外遇,社会上对女人的评判要比对男人更加苛刻。"Women don't easily have an affair," she says.女人不容易有外遇,她说。 /201109/154551福州那间医院治疗男性精子好

福州做静脉曲张手术去那最好Researchers said that at their core, the male of the species had changed little since Neanderthal times, when reproduction was their prime objective.研究人员称,自穴居的尼安德特人时代起,繁衍后代就是雄性物种的主要目标,而至今他们依然没有太大的变化。The US scientists spoke to a sample of men and women to draw up a list of 88 factors that made women appear more ;exploitable; - such as those who bite their lips or look sleepy - or suggested they were attention seekers.美国科学家通过抽样选出了一些男女,交流后得出了让女性看上去更“吸引人”的88个因素:比如那些喜欢咬嘴唇或者看上去睡眼朦胧的女生。这些因素表明哪样女生会吸引更多的关注。They then showed photos of women illustrating this type of behaviour or characteristic to 76 other men and asked them to rate how desirable they found them, the Daily Mail reported.根据《每日邮报》报道,科学家将具备这些行为或特征的女性照片展示给76位男士,并要求他们按照满意程度给这些女性打分。A physical vulnerability such as being short did not result in the men finding the women more sexually attractive.一些身体上的不足,比如个子矮小,并没有影响到男士们对她们吸引力和魅力的评判。But psychological vulnerability - such as when the women were immature or unintelligent - resulted in them being given a higher rating, according to the study by researchers at Texas-Austin University.然而德克萨斯大学奥斯丁分校的这项研究表明,一些心理方面的弱点,比如那些看起来不够成熟或者不够聪明的女性,反而得到了更高的分数。The men also ranked these women as more attractive than those who were portrayed as brainy, they found.研究人员还发现,男士们还认为这些女性比那些看起来聪明的女性更有吸引力。However, their interest fell off significantly when they were questioned about their interest in pursuing a longer-term relationship with the ;dumb; women.The study concluded: ;The assessment of a woman#39;s immediate vulnerability may be central to the activation of psychological mechanisms related to sexual exploitation.;然而,当被问及是否有兴趣和这些“笨笨的”女生有保持长期来往时,男士们的兴趣一落千丈。研究总结表明:“对于一位女性显而易见的弱点的评价,在关系到她受欢迎程度的心理机制的激化中很可能起到核心作用。”Relationships expert Jean Hannah Edelstein said: ;It#39;s not a recipe for a happy relationship to select a partner based on what you perceive to be their inferiority.;两性关系专家艾德斯坦说:“根据你感知到的对方的弱点来选择伴侣,是无法保一段感情会愉快地发展下去的。” /201206/187025福州不孕不育 Treece, Kansas, is a poisoned town. Only one house remains. Tim and Della Busby are the lone residents of the community today. And they say they#39;re staying put. Even if it#39;s toxic, Treece is still their home.美国堪萨斯州的特莱塞镇因受到污染已沦为“毒镇”。现在镇上仅有唯一的一家住户,只剩下蒂姆和妻子德拉-巴斯比。他们依然拒绝离开。因为即使那里变成毒镇,却依然还是他们的家园。This tiny community in southeast Kansas used to be a bustling mining enclave — with a school, hundreds of homes and bars the got rowdy with drunken miners on payday.位于美国堪萨斯州东南部的特莱塞曾是一个非常繁荣的矿业小镇,那里曾有学校、数百户居民以及发薪日挤满醉酒矿工的喧闹酒吧。But, the mines that turned Treece into a boomtown ultimately left it lifeless and abandoned.但曾经把特莱塞变为新兴小镇的矿业最终也使它成为毫无生气的被荒废小镇。It#39;s a toxic ghost town now. All but two residents left when the federal government offered buyouts to the 138 people who stuck around after the mines shut down, the Kansas City Star reports.如今这里已经沦为“毒镇”。根据《堪萨斯城星报》的报道,在矿山关闭后,政府向仍然居住在该地的138名居民提供资助,人们陆续搬走,仅剩蒂姆夫妇。The Environmental Protection Agency says decades of zinc and lead mining have left the soil, water and air contaminated.美国环保署称,数十年的锌和铅矿开采已经污染了当地的土地、水源以及空气。Massive piles of poisoned mining debris, called chat, litter the streets. The mines that were dug beneath the town are turning the ground into Swiss cheese, as massive sink holes develop throughout the town — many big enough and deep enough to swallow a man whole.大堆有毒的矿石碎屑凌乱堆积在街头上。地底挖矿使地面呈“蜂窝乳酪”状,全镇遍布大的灰岩坑,很多较大的坑洞深到足以把整个人吞没。In 2009, the federal government began offering buy-outs for the residents of Treece after Congress approved .5 million to vacate the town and turn it into a Superfund site.2009年,美国联邦政府开始“买断”该镇的居民,国会还批准了350万美元的资金让居民搬离小镇,并把它改造成一个超级基金场址。Treece was abandoned after nearby Picher, Oklahoma, which sits just across the state line, was bought out by the federal government and bought out for the same reason — lead contamination left by decades of mining.在人们搬离该镇之前,位于州界对面的俄克拉荷马州的皮歇尔镇也由于同样的原因被政府“买断”。数十年采矿使皮歇尔镇遭到严重的铅污染。Picher#39;s buyout came first — it was a historic event, the government giving people cash to leave the town they#39;d lived on their lives.皮歇尔镇先于特莱塞镇被“买断”,这是个历史性事件,美国政府付给当地居民现金,让他们搬离赖以生存的小镇。However, the EPA tried to save Treece. Only one child out of 16 in the town tested positive for having dangerously high levels of lead.美国环保署试图拯救特莱塞镇。该镇的16名儿童中,仅有一人在检测中查出体内铅超标。But the damage in Treece was aly done, the residents no longer believed it was safe to live there.但特莱塞镇的污染已经造成了,居民们不再相信住在那里是安全的。After Picher was abandoned, the town government in Treece also asked for a buy-out.在皮歇尔镇被人们放弃之后,特莱塞镇的政府也要求联邦政府出资“买断”。When it finally came, the EPA offered residents about ,000 each for their homes. By 2010, 63 out of 64 homeowners sold out and their houses were torn down.最终,美国环保署给每位搬离居民补贴了大约4万美元。截至2010年,64户居民中的63户搬离了小镇,他们的房子也拆毁了。 /201206/185921南平中医看多囊要多少钱

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