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来源:健乐园    发布时间:2018年09月25日 03:09:10    编辑:admin         

For 20 years, Christina Steinorth was happy to help one of her close friends with whatever she needed -- last-minute baby sitting, a drive to work when her car was in the shop, countless hours of free marriage advice (Ms. Steinorth is a licensed marriage and family therapist). She didn#39;t expect anything in return.去20年来,无论密友有什么事情需要帮助,克里斯蒂娜·斯泰诺特(Christina Steinorth)一直都乐意帮忙,比如临时受托替她照看孩子、在她车子送去维修时送她上班,以及提供无数个小时的免费婚姻咨询(斯泰诺特是一名持照婚姻家庭治疗师)。斯泰诺特并未期望获得任何回报。When Ms. Steinorth and her husband decided to adopt a baby a few years ago, she asked her pal to write a letter of recommendation. The friend agreed enthusiastically, Ms. Steinorth says, but months went by and no letter arrived. She asked again and the friend apologized profusely, but still no letter. After several more months, Ms. Steinorth asked one more time. Her friend ignored her.几年前,斯泰诺特与丈夫决定收养一个孩子,便请这位好友给她写一封推荐信。斯泰诺特说,朋友热情地答应了,但是几个月过去,她没收到任何信件。她又问了一次,朋友再三道歉,但是依然没有寄信过来。几个月后,斯泰诺特又问了一次,这位朋友干脆置之不理。#39;I learned a very painful lesson -- that she wanted more from me than she was willing to give back, #39; Ms. Steinorth said.斯泰诺特说:“我得到了一个非常惨痛的教训——她更想从我这儿得到帮助,而没那么愿意做出回报。”Have you ever tried to make a withdrawal from the friendship bank, only to find your balance was much lower than you thought it was?你是否也有过想从“友谊”取款,却发现余额远远比你想象的要少的经历呢?Friendship should be more than a series of tit-for-tat transactions: If I do a favor for you, then you will do one for me. Social psychologists call this view of relationships #39;exchange orientation#39; and say it is more suited to business associates or other non-intimate relationships than to loved ones. In our close relationships, we#39;d like to think we give without expecting anything in return.友情不应当仅仅是一系列有来有往的交易:如果我帮了你的忙,你也要帮我一次。社会心理学家将这种友情观称为“交换取向”(exchange orientation)。他们认为,这更适合商业伙伴或其他不太亲近的关系,并不适于与亲友的关系。在一段亲密关系中,我们总是愿意认为自己不求任何回报地付出。But that#39;s just not reality. We do want something from friends -- emotional support, attention, a hand when we need one. Although we may not #39;keep count, #39; we do want to be able to count on them.然而,这并非事实。我们的确会对朋友有所求——情感持、关注以及在我们需要之时伸出援手。虽然我们也许不会“锱铢必较”,但我们确实希望能指望上他们。Researchers have long known we feel bad about a relationship if we believe we#39;re giving but getting nothing back. #39;You need to perceive a balance between the costs and the rewards in a friendship or other close relationship, or there will be relational distress, #39; says David Henningsen, professor of communication at Northern Illinois University.研究人员很早就知道,如果我们认为自己在一段关系中一直付出却得不到任何回报,我们就会对它心生嫌隙。北伊利诺伊大学(Northern Illinois University)沟通心理学教授戴维·亨宁森(David Henningsen)指出:“在友情或其他亲密的关系中,你需要感知到你的付出与收获是平衡的,否则这段关系会出现危机。”People who usually make an effort to help others, without regard to whether they will get something in return, are considered to have high #39;communal orientation.#39; New research from the University of Toronto, published this month in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, suggests they are happier than people with low communal orientation.常常尽力帮助他人,不计较他们是否获得回报的人被认为具有很强的“公共取向”(communal orientation)。多伦多大学(University of Toronto)于9月份发表在《社会与人际关系杂志》(Social and Personal Relationships)的新研究指出,这些人比公共取向度低的人更快乐。To study this, the researchers had 232 people rate themselves on a scale of 1 to 7 on 14 statements such as, #39;I often come to the help of others in need, #39; #39;I believe people should go out of their way to be helpful#39; and #39;It bothers me when other people neglect my needs.#39; The research subjects then completed surveys three times a week for one month, recording their levels of self-esteem, positive emotions, relationship satisfaction and love for humanity overall.为了展开这项研究,研究人员让232名受试者就14项描述按一至七分的等级为自己评分,包括“我常常帮助需要帮助的人”、“我认为人们应当竭尽全力帮助他人”以及“别人忽视我的需求时,我心里会不舒”等等。这些受试者接着还要连续一个月每周完成三次调查,记录他们的自尊感、积极情绪、对关系的满足感以及对整个人类的爱的程度。The results: #39;Being a helpful person feels good and contributes to better relationships and greater satisfaction and self-worth, #39; says Bonnie Le, a Ph.D candidate at the University of Toronto and lead researcher on the study.多伦多大学士、该项研究的领头人邦尼·勒(Bonnie Le)称,结果表明“做个有帮助的人会让人感觉良好,有助于增进关系,且带来更大的满足感和自我价值感。”Even so, people with strong communal orientation aren#39;t completely selfless. They do expect their friends will be there if they need them. The risk they run is they won#39;t receive support, or they will even be exploited, by friends or loved ones with low communal orientation.即便如此,公共取向度高的人并非就是完全无私的,他们也期望朋友能在他们需要之时出现。他们面临的风险是得不到持,甚至被公共取向度低的朋友或亲人利用。So what can you do if you tend to give a lot in a friendship and don#39;t always get what you need in return? Start by rechanneling some of your giving. Volunteer for charity or help someone less fortunate. You#39;ll enjoy the benefits of providing help and will be free of the expectation that you will receive something in return.假如你在友情中总是付出很多,可并不是总能获得你需要的回报,你能做些什么呢?从改变你付出的途径开始吧。参与义务慈善工作或帮助更不幸的人。你会享受到帮助他人的乐趣,并且从获得他人回报的期望中摆脱出来。When making a new friend, pay attention early on to the other person#39;s communal orientation. Does he ask about you and actually pay attention to your answer? Is she willing to do something you suggest doing, or work around your schedule? Not everyone is capable of giving at the same level. But if you are aware of who you are dealing with, you will be less likely to have expectations that won#39;t be met.此外,结交新朋友时,早些注意对方的公共取向度。他会问起你并真的会注意你的回答吗?她乐意去做你提议的事情或根据你的时间安排做些变通吗?每个人能付出的程度都不同。但是,如果你了解了你打交道的对象是什么样的人,你对其期望过高的可能性就会降低。Finally, realize that not all relationships can be fixed -- and that#39;s OK. Ultimately, you need to decide who is worthy of your friendship. Learning to have more balanced interactions will help your future relationships.最后,你要知道不是所有关系都能修补的,这真的没关系。归根究底,你需要明确谁值得你付出友情。学会建立更平衡的交际关系有助于你将来的人际交往。Ms. Steinorth, who is 48 and lives in Santa Barbara, Calif., no longer speaks to her former friend. #39;I thought, #39;After all the little things I#39;ve done, all the times I#39;ve been there for you, I ask for just one thing and you can#39;t do it?#39;#39; she recalls thinking. Her former friend did eventually write a nice letter of recommendation, she says, after Ms. Steinorth had her husband make the request. But by then the couple#39;s application was no longer valid.今年48岁、住在加州 巴巴拉的斯泰诺特不再和她以前的那位朋友说话了。她回忆起当时的想法时说:“我想,‘在我做了那么多事情,一直在你身边给你持之后,我只是请你帮忙做一件事,你都做不了吗?’”她说,在她让丈夫提出请求后,那位朋友最终写了一封出色的推荐信,但是那时他们的申请已经失效了。As a result of this experience, Ms. Steinorth says, she #39;holds back#39; a little in her relationships, giving more to people who really need her assistance and can#39;t reciprocate or even say thank you. Instead of cooking three dishes for family get-togethers, she cooks one and makes several casseroles for the homeless. And she volunteers at a Basset Hound rescue organization. She also pays close attention to a new friend#39;s style of communal orientation.斯泰诺特说,由于这段经历,现在她在和人交往时会稍稍有些“保留”,而对真正需要她帮助但不能报答、甚至无法说声谢谢的人给予更多的帮助。她以前会为家庭聚会做三道菜,现在只做一道,然后再为无家可归的人做几道炖菜。她还担任巴吉度犬营救组织的志愿者。现在,她也会密切注意新朋友的公共取向度。#39;It#39;s not my nature, but I don#39;t get hurt anymore, #39; says Ms. Steinorth, who has written a book about communication in friendships and other relationships. #39;I let go of the expectation that everyone wants the same thing from a relationship, because they don#39;t.#39;她说:“这并非我的天性,但这样做我再也不会被伤害了。我摒弃了认为每个人都对友情有着同样期待的想法,因为他们确实不是如此。”她撰写了一本书,论述在友情和其他关系中该如何沟通。 /201310/260529。

Piracy off the coast of Somalia, one of the world#39;s crucial shipping lanes, has plunged this year because of aggressive military and intelligence steps that have made it too costly for seafaring bandits to operate, regional diplomats and naval officials said. 索马里地区的外交人士和海军官员说,索马里附近海域的海盗活动今年大幅减少,原因是力度极大的军事和情报举措使得海盗团伙运营起来费用太高。索马里海域是世界上的重要航道之一。 The success, however, has had an unintended consequence: The Somali crime lords behind the pirate networks have shifted to other illicit trade, sometimes in partnership with al Qaeda-linked militant groups like al-Shabaab, aiding terrorism in the Horn of Africa, diplomats and intelligence officials said. 不过,外交人士和情报官员说,打击海盗行动的成功产生了一个意想不到的后果:海盗网络背后的索马里黑帮头目转向了其他非法活动,有时与青年党(al-Shabaab)等跟基地组织(al Qaeda)有关系的军事组织合作,向非洲之角的恐怖活动提供援助。 #39;None of these operations exists in a vacuum,#39; said a regional intelligence official who traces terrorism financing across Gulf states. Al Qaeda and smugglers #39;trade off the same connections, the same sea routes and the same protection rackets.#39; 一位跟踪海湾国家恐怖活动资金来源的地区情报官员说,这些活动都不是存在于真空中的。基地组织和走私者使用的是同样的关系网,同样的航道,向同样的组织交保护费。 In 2011, there were 237 piracy-related events in the waters off Somalia, according to the International Maritime Bureau, which monitors piracy and the effect on commercial shipping. In 2012, the figure dropped to 75. This year, as of Oct. 14 there were 10 incidents--only two of them hijackings. 据国际海事局(International Maritime Bureau)说,2011年,索马里附近海域发生237起与海盗有关的事件。该组织监控海盗活动及其给商业航运活动带来的影响。2012年这类事件减少至75起。今年截至10月14日,发生了10起事件,其中只有两起是劫船事件。 The ed Nations reports similar figures. U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said last week there had been 17 attacks in the first nine months of 2013 in the Arabian Sea, compared with 99 in the same period last year. 联合国(ed Nations)发布了类似的数据。联合国秘书长潘基文(Ban Ki-moon)上周说,2013年前九个月阿拉伯海发生了17起袭击事件,相比之下,上年同期发生了99起。 Most of the piracy in the Gulf of Aden and the adjacent Arabian Sea and Indian Ocean has been controlled by Somali organized crime lords whose business networks stretch between their homeland and Gulf Arab nations including Saudi Arabia, Yemen, the ed Arab Emirates and Iran, according to U.N. and regional diplomats who follow crime and terrorism issues. 据联合国及该地区跟踪犯罪和恐怖活动的外交人士说,亚丁湾及邻近的阿拉伯海和印度洋上的大部分海盗活动是由索马里组织的黑帮头目控制的,他们的业务网络从他们自己的国家延伸至海湾阿拉伯国家,包括沙特、也门、阿联酋和伊朗。 The Somalis have helped finance pirate ships and have laundered an estimated 0 million in ransom paid by shipping companies between April 2005 and December 2012, regional diplomats and U.N. investigators said. 该地区的外交人士和联合国调查人员说,索马里人帮助为海盗船只提供资金,2005年4月至2012年12月期间,将航运公司付的约4亿美元赎金洗白。 Their profits began to slip in 2012 when navies and shipping companies began beefing up military defenses. 2012年海军和航运公司开始加大军事防御力度后,海盗们的利润开始下滑。 The international naval force known as Task Force 151 stepped up its use of drones and other intelligence gathering resources, allowing them to better position warships to intercept pirates, said Commodore Jeremy Blunden, the British naval officer currently in charge of the fleet. 英国海军准将布伦登(Jeremy Blunden)说,被称为“联合行动部队151”的国际海军部队加大了对无人机和其他情报收集资源的使用,使他们能够更好地部署战舰拦截海盗。布伦登目前负责“联合行动部队151”。 Meanwhile, the commercial shipping industry has standardized the use of armed guards on vessels carrying oil and valuable products through the waterways. The practice had been controversial because it contravened common seafaring ways. But it proved cost-effective, say shipping company executives who are reaping the advantages of lower insurance rates as a result. 与此同时,商业航运业已经把在经由这些航道运输石油和有价值产品的船只上配备武装警卫作为标准做法。这一做法曾饱受争议,因为它有违通常的航运做法。但航运公司高管说,事实明这种做法性物有所值。这些高管可以因此享受保险费率降低的好处。 Countries have also stepped up legal prosecution of pirates in recent years, adding risk for Somali pirate financiers, who face loss of crews and ships. On Wednesday, a Spanish court handed multiple-year sentences to six Somalis convicted of piracy and arms possession, according to the Associated Press. 各国近年来也加大了对海盗的法律追究力度,令为索马里海盗提供资金的人风险增大,这些人可能面临失去船员和船只的风险。据美联社(Associated Press)报道,上周三,一家西班牙法庭裁决六名索马里人犯有海盗及非法携带武器罪,判处其多年徒刑。 The only surviving pirate who attacked the Maersk Alabama merchant vessel in 2009--the story on which the Hollywood movie #39;Captain Phillips#39; is based--is serving a 33-year sentence in a U.S. prison. 2009年攻击“马士基亚拉巴马号”(Maersk Alabama)商船的唯一一名幸存下来的海盗目前正在美国刑,其刑期为33年。好莱坞影片《菲利普斯船长》(Captain Phillips)就是取材于这个故事。 The aggressive military response changed the risk-reward ratio for Somali piracy financiers, who must pay upward of 80% of their earnings to corrupt Somali officials, local warlords and other middlemen, military officials and diplomats said. 军事官员和外交人员说,这种积极的军事反应改变了为索马里海盗提供资金者的风险回报率,他们必须将至多80%的收入用来贿赂索马里官员、地方军阀和其他中间人。 In 2012, Somali pirates only managed to rake in million in payments, or about three quarters of the annual average received since 2005, according to a World Bank report. 世界的一份报告显示,2012年,索马里海盗只获得了3,700万美元的报酬,仅为2005年以来年平均收入的四分之三左右。 #39;We#39;ve put a fire blanket over the problem,#39; said Capt. William Nault, the chief of staff for the international naval force taking the lead on counterpiracy patrols in the area. #39;We#39;ve raised the cost [analysis] for them.#39; 在该地区牵头反海盗巡逻的国际海军部队参谋长诺特(William Nault)说,我们已经压制住了这个问题,增加了海盗的成本。 Somali piracy bosses, however, have proven nimble businessmen. As piracy profits decreased, they refocused resources on other long-standing illicit operations, including arms smuggling and region#39;s lucrative trade in charcoal made from Acacia trees, according to diplomats and law-enforcement officials in the region who monitor illicit activity. 然而,索马里海盗的老板明了自己是活络的商人。外交人员和该地区监控非法活动的执法官员说,随着海盗业务的利润下降,他们重新将资源投入到其他长期非法活动中,包括军火走私和该地区利润丰厚的金合欢木炭贸易。 In a report issued to the U.N. Security Council this summer, diplomats watching violations of U.N. sanctions in Somalia provide evidence of alleged links between the Somali businessmen suspected of running the pirate networks and smuggling rings and al-Shabaab. The militant group is battling Somali government forces and African peacekeepers to try to establish a fundamentalist Islamic government. 在今年夏天提交给联合国安理会的一份报告中,外交人员提供了涉嫌经营海盗网络和走私集团的索马里商人被指与青年党有关的据。这些外交人员关注违反联合国对索马里制裁措施的情况。武装组织青年党正与索马里政府军和非洲维和部队交战,试图建立原教旨主义的伊斯兰教政府。 The U.N. report presents telephone records and other surveillance that links alleged Somali financiers of piracy with business partners in Iran, Saudi Arabia and the ed Arab Emirates in the charcoal-smuggling network. 联合国的报告提供了电话记录和其他监听内容,表明被指资助索马里海盗者在木炭走私网络中与伊朗、沙特阿拉伯和阿联酋的商业伙伴有关联。 The report also alleges similar business links between these same actors and weapons smuggling into Somalia. Most weapons sales to Somalia are prohibited under U.N. sanctions, as is the charcoal trade there. 报告还指出,这些人与走私进入索马里的武器也有类似的商业关联。按照联合国的制裁措施,大多数武器都禁止向索马里销售,木炭贸易也是禁止的。 Counterterrorism officials say that the charcoal trade is one of the main avenues that al-Shabaab finances its terrorism operations and pays for the weapons they use to fight the Somali government and African peacekeepers. The business has grown from roughly million a year in the late 2000s to a business now worth an estimated 0 million-0 million a year, according to the U.N. 反恐官员说,木炭贸易是青年党的主要收入来源之一,青年党以此为其恐怖活动提供资金,并购买武器用于对抗索马里政府和非洲维和部队。联合国数据显示,这项业务的规模上世纪末约为每年3,000万美元左右,现在已经增长至每年约3.4亿至3.8亿美元。 The White House slapped a trade ban on Somali-sourced charcoal in 2012 because of the alleged trade links to al-Shabaab. 2012年,白宫方面以涉嫌与青年党存在贸易关系为由,针对来自索马里的木炭实施贸易禁令。 The U.N. investigators complain that while regional governments understand the threat of terrorism financing, there has been no political will to arrest the men at the top of the Somali crime networks. 联合国调查人员抱怨说,虽然地区政府明白为恐怖主义提供资金的威胁,但政界毫无意愿逮捕索马里犯罪网络的高层。 The majority of recent pirate trials involve men at the midrange of these organizations or foot soldiers suborned into piracy for their sailing knowledge, a regional counterterrorism official said. 一位地区反恐官员说,最近受审的海盗大多数都是这些犯罪网络的中层,或是因其航海知识而被收买从事海盗行为的底层士兵。 U.N. investigators have recommended adding these Somalis to an international sanctions list, and some diplomats argue that they should be prosecuted for sanctions violations or terrorism ties. 联合国调查人员建议将这些索马里人添加到一个国际制裁名单上,一些外交人员认为,这些人应当为违反制裁或与恐怖主义有关联而被起诉。 /201311/263589。

调查:中国人结婚费用平均逾12万Weddings are so important in China that couples are willing to fork out about 20 times their monthly income on getting hitched and everything that comes with it.China's newly-weds in urban areas spend 126,600 yuan (16,600 U.S. dollars) on average in 2006 when getting hitched, Thursday's Chongqing Youth Daily reported, citing a recent survey by the Ministry of Commerce.An analysis of 60,000 couples living in cities showed that about 64 percent of the spending went on apartment decoration, furniture and household appliances and the rest was spent on the wedding, such as the ceremony, photography, wedding dresses and feast.The survey said the wedding expenditure was only a small share of the overall marriage cost as most Chinese young couples in the cities tended to buy an apartment and a car before tying the knot.The survey said that about 81.6 percent of the newly-weds admitted that they had got financial support from parents as their monthly income on average was only about 6,240 yuan.The survey also showed that about 88.4 percent of the newly-weds chose having wedding photography as a priority and 78.74 chose hosting a wedding banquet.In contrast, young couples in rural areas spent about 40,000 yuan on average on marriage-related issues, less than one third of their city peers, according to the report.About 8.49 million couples got married in China in 2006. 结婚在中国是件大事,因此,中国的新人们不惜花费约相当于月收入20倍的“重金”来置办婚礼。据《重庆青年报》上周四消息,商务部近日的一项调查显示,2006年,中国城镇地区新人的结婚开平均为12.66万元。通过对城镇地区6万对新人的调查发现,约64%的结婚费用花在装修新房、购置家具和家用电器上,其余的则花在举办婚礼上,如婚礼策划、婚纱照、婚纱礼及喜宴等。调查显示,婚礼出只是结婚总花销的一小部分,因为城市地区的大多数新人在结婚前还要买房买车。约81.6%的新人坦称得到了父母的财力持。据调查,这些新人的平均月收入仅为6240元。此外,约88.4%的新人认为拍婚纱照最重要,78.74%的新人则首选办喜宴。而农村地区新人的平均结婚费用约为四万元,不到城市地区的三分之一。2006年我国登记结婚人数约为849万对。 /200803/32062。

这是关于一个女孩、女人、女性的成长漫画On A Claire Day:亲情、友情、爱情;家庭,朋友、婚姻,工作,生活……一切的一切~今日嘱咐:淡定,是要付出代价的!出来淡,迟早是要还的……译者:koogle。

Customer: Waiter, I can#39;t find any oysters in this oyster stew.顾客:务员,我这个牡蛎炖菜里怎么没有牡蛎?Waiter: Well, you wouldn#39;t expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?务员:是啊,你不会指望在天使蛋糕里发现天使吧? /201307/246810。

Not long ago, an American friend was driving rather too vigorously in the west of Ireland when he was pulled over by a Gard (police officer). #39;What would happen if you were to run into Mr. Fog?#39; the Gard inquired gruffly in his thick Irish brogue. Stung by this patronizing query, my friend replied with heavy sarcasm, #39;Well, I guess I#39;d put Mr. Foot on Mr. Brake.#39; Whereupon the officer stared at him rather strangely and growled, #39;I said mist or fog.#39;不久前,一位美国朋友在爱尔兰西部开车时有些过猛,结果被警察拦到了路边。“万一你撞上了‘雾先生’(Mr. Fog)该怎么办?”那名警察粗暴地问道,说话带有浓重的爱尔兰土腔。朋友对这种高高在上的质问感到不悦,语带强烈讽刺地回答道:“嗯,我想我会把‘脚先生’搭在‘刹车先生’上面吧。”结果,那名警察以非常异样的眼神盯着我的朋友,大吼道:“我说的是‘mist or fog’。”My friend, as it happens, is an anthropologist. For one enthralling moment he thought he had stumbled upon a tribe in the west of Ireland which personified aspects of the weather, speaking of Mrs. Hailstorm, Master Sunshine and so on. But it was just another case of international miscommunication.我的朋友碰巧是一位人类学家。在警察质问他时,有那么迷人的一瞬间,他还以为自己在爱尔兰西部偶然遇到了一个喜欢将各种天气状况拟人化的部族,比如把冰雹叫做“冰雹夫人”,把阳光称为“阳光大师”等等。然而,事实明这只是国际交流中又一个误解案例而已。Most people know that when a British schoolteacher asks his pupils to take out their rubbers, he is inviting them to produce their erasers, not about to give them a lesson in contraception. British people who live in flats do not set up home in burst tires. The word #39;bum#39; in British English means buttocks as well as vagrant.大多数人都知道,在英国,当老师要学生们拿出他们的“rubber”时,他只是让他们拿出橡皮,并不是要给他们上一堂有关避的课(译注:“rubber”在美国亦指避套)。住在“flat”中的英国人并不是把家安在了瘪掉的车胎中(译注:英国把公寓称为“flat”,而该词在美国可指漏气的轮胎)。“Bum”这个词在英国英语中既有“臀部”之意,也可指“流浪汉”。People in Britain do not usually say #39;I appreciate it,#39; have a hard time, zero in, reach out to other people, stay focused, ask to be given a break, refer to the bottom line or get blown away. The word #39;scary,#39; as opposed to #39;frightening#39; or #39;alarming,#39; sounds childish to British ears, rather like talking about your buttocks as your bottie. Brits tend not to use the word #39;awesome,#39; a term which, if it were banned in the States, would cause airplanes to fall from the sky and cars to lurch off freeways.英国人表达感谢通常不会说“I appreciate it”,也没有have a hard time(很辛苦)、zero in(把注意力集中于)、reach out to other people(联系他人)和stay focused(专心致志)这样的说法。他们在想休息时不会要求“given a break”,也不会使用“bottom line”(底线)或“get blown away”(惊叹不已)这些词。在英国人听来,与“frightening”或“alarming”相比,“scary”一词听起来极其幼稚,就像把“屁股”说成“小屁屁”一样。此外,他们一般也不会用“awesome”这个词,而若是在美国禁用这个词,飞机恐怕都要从天空坠落,汽车也要从高速公路冲出去了。Using the word #39;aggressive#39; positively also sounds strange across the pond. In Britain, it sounds almost as bizarre as complimenting someone on being as ugly as sin. The habit of using the word #39;like#39; every four seconds, widesp among American youth, has now caught on in Britain as well. Perhaps it has to do with an attempt not to sound dogmatic. #39;It#39;s 9 o#39;clock#39; sounds unpleasantly authoritarian, whereas #39;It#39;s, like, 9 o#39;clock#39; sounds suitably tentative and nondoctrinaire. It is rumored in Europe that you can now find tombstones in the U.S. ing #39;To Our Beloved Son, Brother and, Like, Husband.#39;在大西洋彼岸,使用“aggressive”一词来表达正面意义听上去非常奇怪,英国人觉得这几乎就像赞美别人奇丑无比一样怪异。在美国年轻人当中盛行的、说话时每四秒钟就加上 “like”一词的习惯如今在英国也流行开来了。这或许与试着让自己的话听上去不那么傲慢专断有关。例如,“It#39;s 9 o#39;clock”听上去比较独断,让人不悦,而“It#39;s, like, 9 o#39;clock”听起来则是适宜的商榷口吻,不显得像是说教。欧洲有传闻称,如今在美国甚至能发现有墓碑上写着“To Our Beloved Son, Brother and, Like, Husband”这样的碑文。The phrase #39;to feel comfortable with#39; is quintessentially American. The British would not usually say #39;we feel comfortable with using this taxi firm,#39; any more than they would feel comfortable with being scourged until the blood ran down their thighs.“To feel comfortable with”(觉得……很舒适)这个词组是典型的美式说法。英国人通常不会说“;we feel comfortable with using this taxi firm”(我们觉得坐这家出租车公司的车很舒),就如同他们绝不会觉得遭到鞭打直到鲜血从大腿上流下来会很舒。Americans tend to say #39;Excuse me#39; when they accidentally get in your way, while the British say #39;Sorry.#39; Americans say #39;Excuse me#39; even when they are 10 paces away from you, since they are accustomed to a lot more space than we are in Europe. One knows one is back in the U.K. when everyone is constantly saying sorry for no reason whatsoever.美国人在借道时一般会说“Excuse me”,而英国人则说“Sorry”。即便距离别人还有10步的距离,美国人也会说“Excuse me”,因为他们习惯的间隔空间要比欧洲人大很多。当你听到别人总是无缘无故地不断说“Sorry”时,你就知道你到了英国。What you say in Britain when you mishear what someone says depends on your social class. The working class say #39;Aye?#39;; the lower middle class, #39;Pardon?#39;; the middle class, #39;Sorry?#39;; and the upper class, #39;What?#39;在英国,如果一个人没听清别人说了什么,这时他所说的话要取决于他的社会阶层。比如说,劳动阶层会说“Aye?”,中下阶层会说“Pardon?”,中产阶层则说“Sorry?”,上层人士则问“What?”Americans tend to lapse into the present tense when speaking of the past much more commonly than Brits do. #39;I#39;m in the kitchen and there#39;s this terrific bang and I dive under the table#39; is distinctively American. Perhaps the British rate the past more highly than their trans-Atlantic cousins. People in Britain might call children kids, but not in newspaper headlines or on television news. Americans tend to prefer the ugly monosyllable #39;kids#39; to the rather beautiful word #39;children,#39; seemingly content to regard their offspring as small, smelly goats.在讲述过去的事情时,美国人比英国人更常使用现在时态。“I#39;m in the kitchen and there#39;s this terrific bang and I dive under the table”是美国人特有的风格。这或许是因为,英国人比他们在大西洋彼岸的堂亲更重视过去。英国人可能也会叫小孩子“kid”,但他们在报刊标题或电视新闻中不会使用这个词。美国人对不甚优美的单音节词“kids”的喜爱多过对优美的“children”的喜爱,似乎很乐意把他们的后代视为散发着膻味的小山羊(译者注:“kid”也有小山羊的意思)。American road signs tend to be more colloquial than British ones. #39;Wrong Way─Go Back#39; or #39;Ped Xing#39; are too idiomatic for the British. The road sign #39;Way Out#39; in the U.K. is not a relic of the hippie era but means #39;Exit.#39; There used to be signs on garbage cans in Britain which #39;Refuse to Be Put in This Basket,#39; which are puzzling only until you realize that #39;refuse#39; can mean #39;trash.#39;美国的路标也往往比英国的路标更口语化。“Wrong Way─Go Back”(走错路--请返回)或“Ped Xing”(斑马线)在英国人看来都过于俗语化了。在英国,“Way Out”并非嬉皮士时代的遗留物(该词有“反传统、非主流”之意),它的意思是“出口”。英国的垃圾箱上过去常常写着“Refuse to Be Put in This Basket”这样的话,着实让人摸不着头脑,直到你意识到“refuse”也有“垃圾”的意思时才恍然大悟。Brits and Americans, in short, are more alien to each other than they usually imagine. Every now and then, an American will reveal that he or she does not understand the word #39;fortnight,#39; has never used a teapot or does not know how to boil an egg. At such times one can feel the NATO alliance straining and buckling.简而言之,英国人与美国人之间的差异比他们通常想象的要大。时不时会有美国人说他们不知道“fortnight”(两星期)的意思,从来没用过teapot(茶壶),也不知道如何boil an egg(煮鸡蛋)。在这时候,你就会感觉到北约(NATO)的这两个盟友似乎是被生拉硬拽在了一起的。 /201308/251714。