首页>要闻>天下           天下         



2019年07月22日 05:41:36 | 作者:搜医养生 | 来源:新华社
We've all had to start conversations that we ded having – everything from asking for a raise to asking for a divorce to asking for help with the laundry. These strategies help the conversation go more smoothly -- at least, that's the hope.每个人都曾不得不进行另自己惧怕的谈话——如:要求加薪、提出离婚、请求帮助洗衣。下面的方法帮你让谈话更顺利,至少希望如此。1. Don't stall. Let's say you need to call an acquaintance whom you haven't seen in a few years to ask for a favor. Don't chat and chat, then casually mention the favor at the end. You're not going to fool him about why you called. It's better to say something like, "It's so great to talk to you. I really want to catch up and hear everything that's been going on for the last few years, but first, I have to tell you the reason I called." Otherwise, the person on the other end tends to feel wary and distracted.不要拖延。比如:你要打电话给一位认识的人,两人有些年没有见面了,你要让他帮忙。 不要聊个没完,到结束时才突然提出请帮忙的事。对于你打电话的原因,人家心知肚明。最好这样说:“和你聊天真不错。我很想聊聊最近几年的情况,听听发生的每件事,但首先我要告诉你我打电话的理由。” 否则容易让对方警惕和分心。2. Don't start off angry. If you have to make some sort of charge, of dishonesty or bad service or a screw-up, work yourself into a mild state of mind. Anger inspires anger; accusations inspire defensiveness. Explain the situation in a straightforward way. Joke around. Show that you're a reasonable person.不要怒气冲冲地开始谈话。如果你要对欺骗、差的务或一次办砸的事做出控诉,那么先让自己情绪缓和。愤怒会激发愤怒;指责会激发抵抗。直接了当地说明情况。开开玩笑。展现出自己是一个讲道理的人。3. This is obvious, but pick your moment. The Big Girl chooses to pester me with her pleas to get her ear pierced just before school, just before bed, or when I'm rifling in the refrigerator with a wolfish look. She couldn't pick worse times. Look for a moment of calm, lack of interruption, and physical comfort. Also, if the conversation will be particularly painful to the other person, choose circumstances that are the most comfortable for him or her, not for you. Sometimes, when you're ding saying something, you just want to blurt it out and get it over with -- but by waiting, you might get a better result. (See #8 on this, too.)即使是容易被理解的事情,要说也得选择时机。可我的大闺女总选择在上学前一刻、睡前或我正当带着豺狼般贪婪的面目洗劫冰箱时来纠缠我,恳求我允许她穿耳洞。她选择的时机简直是糟糕透顶。要找一个没有干扰、身体舒适、平静的时刻。而且,如果对话让另一方感到痛苦,那么选择对他/她而言(不是对你而言)最为舒适的环境。有时候,当你害怕说某件事,你只希望脱口而出,然后了事——可是等一会再说,你也许会获得更好的结果(参考第八点)。4. Think about why the subject is difficult for you. Do you hate to talk about money? Do you shrink from doing anything that smacks of self-promotion? Do you dislike confrontation? Are you afraid of someone? Are you concerned about damaging a relationship? One of the most helpful of my Twelve Commandments is "Identify the problem." If you examine why you're ding a particular conversation, you might be able to tackle it in a different way, or re-frame the issue in a way that's less upsetting.想一想为什么这话题难以启齿。你讨厌谈论钱吗?带有自荐意味的事情会让你退缩吗?你不喜欢交涉?你害怕某人?你担心破坏一段关系?在我“十二戒律”中最有帮助的一条是“辨认问题”。如果你弄清楚为何害怕某种对话,你也许能采取另一种方式来应对,或者可以用一个不愉快度较低的方式重构问题。5. Are you certain you need to discuss the difficult subject, at all? Often, you do. Sometimes, you don't. Will it really serve a purpose to have the conversation?你确信自己有必要去讨论这一困难话题吗?经常是的。但有时候却不是。就算进行了这个对话,你真能达到目的吗?6. Don't ruminate about worst-case scenarios. It's tempting to imagine every possible way a conversation could go – each worse than the last. But this usually isn't helpful. I have a strong tendency to do this, and never once in my experience has the conversation unfolded with any resemblance to what I imagined. It sometimes goes just as poorly as I'd feared, but never in a way that I'd predicted. So unless you're doing constructive strategizing, don't allow yourself to indulge in negative fantasies.不要反复考虑最坏的情况。人们总是忍不住设想谈话的各种情形,这些情形一个比一个糟。但是通常这一点用也没有。我也有强烈的倾向去做这些设想,但据我经验来看,实际的对话和我想象中的从来不一样。有时候,它如同我原来害怕的那么糟糕,可绝不是我预测中的那种情形。所以,除非你在做建设性的规划,否则别让自己沉溺于消极幻想当中。7. In direct conflict with the above tip -- it can nevertheless be useful to ask yourself, "What's the very worst that could happen?" Someone could tell you "No," or laugh in your face, or cry, or yell, or talk about you behind your back. Are these outcomes really so dful? Often, bluntly considering the worst-case scenario is actually reassuring. But do this in a focused, realistic, limited way. Don't spend hours playing out horrible scenes in your mind.和前面一条直接矛盾的是——问问自己:“最坏可能发生的是什么?”这还是有用的。有的人会对你说“不”,或当着你的面大笑、哭、大叫,或背后指点。这些结果真的那么令人恐惧吗?往往考虑出最糟糕的情况反倒使你放心。但是,在问自己这个问题时要集中注意力,要现实,有限度。不要花长时间地在脑子里播放恐怖的画面。8. Can it wait? If you're reacting to something that has just happened, can you postpone the confrontation for a day or two? You might well feel calmer after some time has passed, and even if you still need to have the conversation, you might be able to broach it more productively.能等等再说吗?如果你正处于对刚发生的事情产生的反应中,你能把这次交涉推迟一、两天吗?也许等上一段时间后你会感觉更加镇定些,即便你还需要进行那次谈话,这么做也许能让你更有成效。9. Use notes. When you're emotionally overwrought, it can be hard to remember exactly what was said. If your boss made criticisms of your work, what EXACTLY did he or she say? If you're at the doctor's office, what EXACTLY did the doctor say? In some cases, like going to the doctor, you may even want to bring another person with you to help process information. You might also want to bring notes to have a list of the points to cover. You might be so eager to end the conversation that you'd rush out of the room too soon, or you might forget everything you wanted to say or ask in the heat of the conversation.做记录。在情绪过度劳累时,要准确地记住说过的话往往会很难。如果你的老板批评了你的工作,他/她到底对你说了什么?如果你在医生办公室,医生确切地对你说了什么?有些时候,例如看大夫,你也许会希望有一个人陪你去,以帮助消化信息。也许你还希望带上笔记本,列出谈话要点。在一次激烈的谈话种,你可能会很渴望结束谈话,从而会过早地冲出房间,结果忘记了本来要说的、要问的。10. Write a note instead of having a conversation. When writing, you can pick your words exactly, and by communicating that way, you allow the other person to react privately, with time for reflection. Or you can write a note alerting the person to the fact that a painful conversation is necessary.用留言代替交谈。在书写时,你能准确地选择词语,而且以这个方式交流,你能让别人有考虑的时间来私底下做出反应。还能写留言来警告某人,进行一次痛苦的对话必不可少。11. It sounds simplistic, but if you know you're going to broach a difficult subject on a particular day, get plenty of sleep and exercise in the period before. Feeling energetic, well-rested, and calm in body will put you in better spirits.这一条听上去太简单了。如果你知道某一天你将提出困难的话题,那么之前你需要充分睡眠和锻炼。拥有充沛的精力、良好的休息还有镇定的身体会让你心情愉快。Obviously, the tips aren't universally applicable. You wouldn't take notes when confronting your teenager, and you wouldn't bring your spouse to your performance review. But by thinking constructively about how to broach a difficult subject, you might make it less painful and more productive, for everyone.显然,以上建议并不是所有情况下都通用。面对自己十来岁的孩子时,你可不会做笔记。你也不会带配偶去参加面试。但是,通过建设性地去考虑如何提出一个困难话题,你也许为每个人减少了谈话的痛苦,增加了谈话的成果。 /200902/62002

While most young people celebrate Valentine#39;s Day on Feb. 14 every year, others find entire new arrangements for this grand tradition, Guangzhou Daily reported.《广州日报》称,对许多年轻人来说,每年的2月14日是一个隆重的节日,然而,有人却选择另类的方式度过情人节。Many conservative Russians hold that Valentine#39;s Day makes no good on youngsters#39; spiritual and moral development. So the government of Belgorodskaya Oblast announced in 2011 that the festival could not be celebrated in any form of activities.很多保守派的俄罗斯人认为,情人节对青少年的精神和道德培养无益,该国别尔哥罗德省于2011年宣布,禁止举办任何形式的情人节庆祝活动。Some French men may receive a special Valentine#39;s Day gift ; hardcover bull dung if they broke up before the festival. Their ex-girlfriends can buy bull dung weighting 100 grams online for 14 euros.而一些在情人节前分手的法国男人,可能会收到特殊礼物;;精装牛粪。被抛弃的女友可以花上14欧元网购重达100克的精装牛粪。The founder of the site claimed that if a woman is dumped by her boyfriend, she can send him a box of bull dung to let him be suffocated by the stinking smell.网站创始人称,如果在情人节前被前男友甩了,寄给他一盒牛粪,让臭气熏死他。Elsewhere, the Rock radio station in New Zealand is to spring divorces by a radio program. The participant can the divorce declaration through the radio. The radio station also promised that they will pay the divorce lawsuit fees for them.另外,新西兰;摇滚;电台策划节目促成离婚,参与者不仅可以通过电台宣读离婚宣言,电台还答应替他们承担离婚官司的费用。 /201202/171565

你肯定不会相信,在我们的日常生活中,有很多简单的事儿其实我们一直都做错了:1. Bathing 洗澡 From a young age, we're taught that the daily use of a hot shower, copious amounts of soap and a scratchy washcloth are necessary to rid ourselves of dangerous microorganisms. 每个小朋友都被教导说每天用热水洗澡可以去除身上危险的微生物。 As it turns out, showering daily wreaks havoc on something hilariously called the horny layer. Hot water, soap and abrasive surfaces strip off the horny layer, exposing living cells to the elements. 其实每天洗澡会严重破坏身上的角质层。热水、肥皂和搓澡巾会使角质层脱落,让我们的皮肤暴露在外。 So how the hell are we meant to do it? 那我们该怎么洗澡? The most important thing to do to keep the skin healthy is to preserve the horny layer. Skipping showers gives your skin time to repair some of the damage that the last shower caused. 想要保持皮肤健康,就得保护角质层。少洗几次澡,让皮肤可以自行修复上次洗澡造成的破坏。2. Sleeping 睡觉 Why the hell do you keep waking up at 3 a.m.? If this happens to you often, you're not alone. Chances are, if you mention waking up like this to your doctor, it'll be diagnosed as a "sleep disorder," and you'll be given one of the tens of millions of prescriptions for sleeping pills handed out to people each year. 要是你经常在半夜3点中醒过来,恭喜你,你不是一个人。你的医生可能会把这种情况诊断为“睡眠障碍”,给你开上一堆安眠药。 So how the hell are we meant to do it? 那我们该怎么睡觉? The idea of the sleep pattern natural to mankind has surprisingly changed from an uninterrupted eight hours to sleeping in segments: three to five hours of sleep, an hour of wakefulness and then another three to five hour nap. This small window of consciousness was renowned as the best time for boning. 8小时无干扰睡眠?过时啦,我们要学会分段睡觉:睡3到5小时,然后保持1个小时的清醒状态,再接着睡上3到5小时。这种1小时的有意识状态被认为是最佳的适应时间。 If you stay calm and allow yourself to fall back to sleep naturally rather than lying there wondering why you're awake, you usually won't see any negative effects the next day. 半夜醒来,请别纠结自己为什么醒了,保持冷静,让自己自然地再睡过去,这样消极情绪就不用影响到你啦。 /201110/156752

每个高喊着减肥的姑娘,都有一张管不住的嘴。但最新研究表明,胖纸不只是吃出来的,更是;坐;出来的!想甩掉腰间的救生圈?赶紧站起来;抖抖手来抖抖脚;吧!New research gives many of us yet another reason to get up off our desk chairs and get moving.一项新的研究,让我们又多了一个离开桌椅站起来活动活动的理由。The findings, published in Cell Physiology, suggest that the pressure placed in the buttocks and hips from sitting down for too long can generate up to 50 percent more fat in those areas.这项被刊登在《细胞生理学》上的调查结果表明,持久静坐施加于臀部和胯部的压力,会使这些部位生成50%以上的脂肪。Researchers from Tel Aviv University looked at MRI images of muscle tissue in people who had been paralyzed by spinal cord injuries and found that major amounts of fat cells stretched to surround the areas around the muscles that endured pressure from lying or sitting. The researchers then manipulated a group of fat cells to stretch and stay sedentary for long periods of time, representing the time spent sitting or lying down. After two weeks, they found that stretched cells produced nearly 50 percent more liquid fat than regular fat cells.特拉维夫大学的研究人员,观察了一些因脊髓损伤而瘫痪的病人的肌肉组织MRI(核磁共振成像)图像,发现大多数的脂肪细胞都聚集在因为躺或者坐而承受压力的肌肉附近。;These findings indicate that we need to take our cells#39; mechanical environment into account as well as pay attention to calories consumed and burned,; Amit Gefen, one of the Tel Aviv researchers, told the U.K.#39;s Telegraph.;那些调查结果表明,我们不仅要注意消耗和燃烧的卡路里,更要考虑下细胞的机械环境。;一位名叫Amit Gefen的特拉维夫研究人员,这样告诉英国《每日电讯报》。Previous research found that those who were bound to wheelchairs or were bedridden developed abnormal muscle and fat growth in areas of the body where more pressure was placed. But Gefen said this research could also translate to the not so extreme sedentary lifestyle.先前的研究发现,那些受轮椅束缚或者卧病不起的人,会在身体受压更大的部位,出现肌肉发育不良的情况,并且增长脂肪。但Gefen说,即使没那么极端的久坐生活方式同样会造成研究得出的结果。Even those who eat well and exercise can suffer the consequences of a bigger butt and waistline if they stay seated for longer periods of time, according to this research. But forgo the exercise and become a couch potato and the results could be worse, Gefen told The Telegraph.研究表明,如果久坐不动,甚至那些吃得很营养也锻炼身体的人也会变成粗腰肥臀。不过,成天躺在沙发上看电视又不锻炼的话,一定会变得更糟糕,Gefen对《每日电讯报》如是说。 /201112/163690

A Stubborn Horse  The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began ing it aloud:  "General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! " he exclaimed."  "Stubborn horse," explained the writer. 倔强的马  大作家疯了,但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。六个月以来,他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。终于,他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。医生急切地大声朗读起来:  “杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马,喊道:‘驾,驾,驾,驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百页纸竟全是‘驾,驾’!”他惊奇地说。  “是匹倔强的马,”作家解释道。 /201107/143702

  • 医苑中文芜湖东方医院几级
  • 芜湖弋江区妇幼保健人民男科中医院治疗生殖感染价格
  • 芜湖芜湖县前列腺炎哪家医院最好
  • 69分类芜湖市繁昌县妇幼保健人民中医院割包皮
  • 中医知识芜湖芜湖县男性男子男科医院不孕不育多少钱
  • 芜湖市三山区妇幼保健人民男科中医院治疗前列腺炎多少钱
  • 导医互动三山区妇幼保健人民中医院割包皮手术价格
  • 芜湖东方医院包皮切割
  • 芜湖检查不孕不育医院那个好
  • 当当社区南陵县不孕不育收费好不好
  • 芜湖镜湖区人民男科医院治疗阳痿多少钱国际门户
  • 芜湖南陵县人民医院男科专家
  • 芜湖一院前列腺炎多少钱69专家芜湖做男科常规检查多少钱
  • 芜湖阳萎治疗哪家好
  • 弋矶山医院男科咨询中国在线皖南芜湖第二附属医院泌尿外科
  • 繁昌县人民医院有治疗前列腺炎吗家庭医生养生
  • 百家社区皖南芜湖弋矶山医院泌尿系统在线咨询
  • 芜湖割包皮手术要多少钱
  • 芜湖鸠江区人民医院治疗性功能障碍多少钱
  • 芜湖疱疹医院
  • 芜湖那家医院看男性早泄阳痿普及乐园芜湖男性割包皮手术费用
  • 芜湖无为县人民医院治疗阳痿多少钱QQ活动
  • 芜湖市镜湖区人民医院前列腺炎多少钱
  • 医信息芜湖那个医院可以做精液检查吗
  • 芜湖男科哪个好
  • 南陵县妇幼保健人民中医院包皮手术多少钱中华口碑
  • ask时讯芜湖有几家医院
  • 皖南医学院第二附属医院治疗包皮包茎多少钱
  • 芜湖市芜湖县人民医院阳痿早泄价格
  • 芜湖弋矶山医院治疗包皮包茎多少钱
  • 相关阅读
  • 明天开始一年内赚的盆满钵满穷的只剩钱的生肖
  • 百倍的热情千遍的呵护万分的用心品鉴华菱星马运煤专线上
  • 洛阳城市建设勘察设计院有限公司招聘信息
  • 阿梅你真的学了中医比较擅长是哪一方面的?你是在乡下学的吗
  • 深圳互金协会发布通知严禁成员单位开展首付贷等违规业务
  • 乌兰察布市召开十三五人才发展规划座谈会
  • 《梦想的声音》本周逆势上扬田馥甄浓妆惊艳颠覆
  • 特朗普要废了耶伦?华尔街的小心脏都要跳出来了!
  • 车市之星专访上海锦俊总经理尤悦梅
  • 地铁时代常青城暂无房源可售(图)
  • 编辑:龙马新闻