明星资讯腾讯娱乐2020年02月26日 18:22:00

To test your mental acuity, answer the following questions (no peeking at the answers!):测测你的脑力,回答以下问题(不要偷看哦!):1.Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?1.在喜马拉雅山被发现之前,世界上最高的山是什么山?2.Billie was born on December 28th, yet her birthday always falls in the summer. How is this possible?2.比莉出生在12月28日,但她都是在夏天过生日的,这是什么原因?3. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?3.如果你在跑步比赛中超过了第二名,那么你现在是第几名?4. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?4.强尼的妈妈有三个孩子,第一个孩子叫四月,第二个孩子叫五月,第三个孩子叫什么?Answers1. Mt. Everest. It just wasn’t discovered yet.1.喜马拉雅山。它始终是第一高山,只是还没被发现而已。2. Billie lives in the southern hemisphere.2.比莉住在南半球。3. You would be in 2nd place. You passed the person in second place, not first.3.你还是第二名,因为你超过的是第二名,不是第一名。4. Johnny.4.强尼。Okay, some of these are a bit corny. But they all illustrate several brain idiosyncrasies that affect how we make decisions in the world.好吧,有些题目是有点老土,但是这些题目却能很好地明我们大脑中的一些习性是如何影响我们做出判断的。Thanks to the way our brain works, we have a very strong tendency to see what we want to see and what we expect to see. When we only see what we want or expect to see, we miss opportunities because we only see what has worked in the past rather than what could be.大脑的工作方式让我们更愿意去看我们想看到的东西和希望看到的东西。这样我们就会失去一些机会,因为我们仅仅注意到了过去而没有看到未来的机遇。Our brain doesn’t like information gaps, so we tend to jump at the first answer/solution that looks good rather than take the time to examine all the data. This is especially true in a world where we receive more information every day than we have time to assimilate. Finally, our brains love to see patterns and make connections.我们的大脑不喜欢有信息空挡,所以我们倾向于相信大脑里出现的第一个或者解决办法,而不是通盘考虑、仔细研究所有的信息。在这个信息爆炸的时代,情况就更是如此了,我们没有时间去吸收理解所有的信息。最终,我们的大脑就会形成思维定势。We can’t change how the brain works – at least not yet. Give science another 50 years and who knows what our brains will be doing! For now, we can become more aware of how our brain works, then pause from time to time to consider what we’re missing. This includes the data we’re unconsciously screening out as well as different sources of data to counterbalance what we expect to see.至少现在我们不能改变大脑的工作方式,也许未来的50年里,科学就能做出改变,谁知道呢!现在我们能做的就是,更多地关注自己大脑的工作方式,时不时地停下来想想,我们是不是遗漏掉了什么,有没有什么信息是我们在潜意识里把它排除掉的,或者是不是有一些我们不希望看到的不同信息被忽略了。Get in the habit of teasing your brain. You’ll be amazed at what you end up seeing that you didn’t see before.养成训练脑力的好习惯吧。最终你会惊喜地发现自己看到了以往所看不到的东西。 /201210/204781

  Life is filled with regrets. Ask anyone around you what their regrets are and they usually have no difficulty coming up with many items on their “regret list.” And for some reason our twenties are ripe for a field of regrets.人生总是充满遗憾。问问你周围的人他们有没有遗憾的事情,他们会轻而易举的列出一大堆“遗憾清单”。由于某些原因,20多岁最容易犯错的年纪。Perhaps it’s because as we get older we look back on that period of adulthood as the height of freedom and autonomy. As move into middle age, we look back and wish that we had made better choices and taken more opportunities. Here’s a list of things that we regret not doing in our 20s.也许是因为随着年龄的增长,当我们再次回顾那段时光,会发现那是一段充满自由和独立的时光。随着我们步入中年,我们经常希望:要是我们能再有更多选择的机会多好啊!以下就列举了一些如果我们在20来岁没有做就会让我们后悔的事情:1. Traveling more1. 多旅行I regret not travelling more, and so does nearly everyone that I have asked. Before kids, and mortgages and marriages, when our commitments and expenses were lower, the opportunities for travel were much greater, but for some reason many of us thought we’d always have time for travel later.我后悔没有到更多的地方去旅行,而且几乎我问过的每个人都会这样说。在有孩子之前、在抵押贷款和结婚之前,在我们需要承担的责任和花销较少时,正是旅游的大好机,但是由于种种原因,我们总觉得我们以后会有更多的时间去旅行。We dreamed of visiting the pyramids of Egypt, surfing off the Hawaiian coast, dining at a Parisian café, drinking espresso in Rome, trekking through the rainforest, and so much more. Sadly, many of us never made these journeys and the opportunity passed us by.我们梦想过去埃及看金字塔,在夏威夷海边冲浪,在巴黎的咖啡馆共进晚餐,在罗马品尝香浓的咖啡,徒步穿越热带雨林等等诸如此类的计划。可悲的是,大部分人都没有付诸行动,只是看着机会白白溜走。2. Investing early2. 早投资How many times have we kicked ourselves for not starting our 401Ks,in our twenties, for not putting our excess cash in long term investments, for not investing in our future early. No matter how much we try, we can never get back the head start that we missed. Playing catch up in our 40’s and 50’s is very difficult.多少次回想我们都恨不得踢自己一脚:为什么不在20来岁就开始401K(小编注:美国的一种养老金制度)计划,为什么没有将多余的现金用于长期投资,为什么没有早早的为我们未来投资。不管我们再怎么努力,错过的时光都不会重来了。等到我们四五十岁的时候再奋起直追已为时已晚了。3. Being more responsible with spending3. 更合理的安排出In order to invest in our retirement or save for that down payment, we would have needed to make wiser financial spending choices. Things like buying or holding on to that perfectly reliable used car, instead of splurging on the new model…because we could, eating out less and saving for a house instead, buying fewer shoes and purses and clothes and paying off student loans sooner. So many saving opportunities lost, money spent on tangible things, instead of on the future.为了退休后的投资或房子的首付,我们需要更合理的理财。比如说买一辆不错的二手车,而不是把钱浪费在新款车型上……我们也可以减少外出就餐,攒钱买房子,少买点鞋子和衣,提前还清助学贷款。这么多的攒钱机会都错过了,我们用钱换来了很多实实在在的物品,却没有更多关注我们的未来。4. Better planning4. 更好的规划人生I regret not focusing more on where I wanted to go in life, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be and what it would take to get there. With some more planning in our twenties, we’d be further ahead in our 40s and perhaps a bit happier as well.我后悔我没有仔细思考我的人生道路,我想要做的事情,我想成为一个什么样的人以及如何才能实现。如果在20多岁的时候我们能更好的规划人生,我们在40多岁的时候就会更上一层楼,也许还会感觉到更幸福。5. Seizing more experiences5. 更多的人生体验I wish I had learned to ski and paint, speak Italian and do the Tango. I regret not living somewhere else before settling down. Others have said they regret not pursuing their hobbies or learning to sky dive or mountain climb. I prefer to stay on the ground, but I do regret not learning more, not trying new things that are hard to fit into the life of a forty something working wife and mother.我多希望我以前学会了滑雪、画画,会说意大利语,会跳探戈。我后悔在安定下来之前没有在别的地方生活过。很多人也都和我一样后悔没有持之以恒的培养自己的爱好,没有学跳伞,没有去爬山。我确实更喜欢务实,但也很后悔没有去学更多的东西,没有尝试新事物,这些事物已经无法再融入一个40岁的全职妻子加母亲的生活中了。6. Living a more active lifestyle6. 更积极向上的生活方式The bodies of youth are wasted on the young… I wish I had run a marathon before my knees ached, that I had biked more, hiked more, and took spinning classes when my legs were stronger. I regret not joining a softball team or volleyball league. We don’t often realize that we have squandered our physical abilities until things start aching and creaking.年轻的时候,我们肆意的挥霍着我们的青春活力……我多想在我膝关节疼痛之前能跑场马拉松,多骑骑自行车、多走走看看,在腿脚强健的时候多骑骑动感单车。我后悔没有参加垒球社团或排球联盟。总是等到体力透病痛来袭,我们才意识到年轻时锻炼的可贵。7. Making more friends7. 交更多的朋友I regret not reaching out more, putting more effort into creating a tribe of support that would carry me through more difficult times. We socialize sure, but many of us don’t put enough importance on building deep and lasting friendships. Some do, many don’t and wish they had.我后悔没有更多的伸出手去,没有更努力去结交那么一伙儿可以陪我度过更多艰难时光的朋友。我们确实也有交际,但是大多数人并没有把重心放在建立更深更持久的友情上面。一些人做到了,但是还有很人却没有,他们希望当初曾为友情努力过。8. Pursuing a more meaningful career8. 追求一份更有意义的职业Many of us wish we had taken more career risks, opted for meaning over money, pursued the career path we wanted instead of what we were expected to do or simply following the path that was laid out before us. How much better to have explored our options and pursued meaningful work in our twenties than to have spent 20 years doing something we don’t love.大部分人都是听从别人的期待去工作或者按照别人铺好的路去走,而不愿冒更多的职业风险和遵循我们的内心去工作挣钱。比起20多年一直从事自己不喜欢的工作,能在20多岁时自己选择并去追求一份更有意义的工作是多么的好啊!Life is good; don’t misunderstand. Few of us walk around every day pining for our youth, at least I hope not, but we do occasionally look back with a wistful sigh and wish that we planned more, lived more, and stretched ourselves more when we had the freedom and energy to do so.毋庸置疑,生活是美好的。很少有人每天四处走走缅怀我们的青春,但是我们确实会偶尔若有所思的边叹气边回忆:多么希望当我们身心自由和精力旺盛的时候,能有更多的计划、更多的活法去扩展自己。 /201211/208626


  If you don#39;t know specifically where you#39;re going, then you#39;ll never get there. And if you don#39;t set the bar high enough, you#39;ll never live up to your potential.如果你不明确该往哪走,那你永远不会到达目的地。如果你不把界限设高些,你永远不会爆发所有的潜力。This is accepted common sense in the business world and it#39;s reinforced by research. Like that study done on the Harvard Business School class you may have heard of, in which only 3% of the graduating students wrote down clear goals. Twenty years later, those 3% were worth 10 times the worth of the rest of the class combined. Compelling, right?在商界这是大家都认为理所当然的事,而且经过研究,这个观念被加强。就像你可能听过的在哈佛商学院某班做的研究一样,在研究中,只有3%的毕业生写下了清晰的目标。20年后,这3%学生的身价是班中剩下所有学生的身价总和的10倍。很有说力是吧?It would be if it were true. But it isn#39;t. That study doesn#39;t exist. It#39;s pure urban myth.We might debate which goals to set, or how to set them, but who would debate whether to set goals at all?如果这件事存在的话确实是很有说力,但事实却不是这样。这个研究根本不存在,只是“都市神话”而已。我们或许会讨论建立何种目标,或如何建立它们,但谁会讨论要不要设立目标呢?I#39;d like to.我会。When we set goals, we#39;re taught to make them specific and measurable. But it turns out that those characteristics are precisely the reasons goals can backfire. A specific, measurable goal drives behavior that#39;s narrowly focused and often leads to either cheating or myopia.当我们设立目标时,经常被告知目标要明确可以度量。但结果说明正是目标的这些特性会让结果适得其反。一个精确、可度量的目标限制了行为,也会导致欺骗或短视。So what can you do in the absence of goals? I want to propose one: Instead of identifying goals, consider identifying areas of focus.所以在没有目标的情况下你应该做什么呢?我想提出一条建议:明确目标范围而不是具体的目标。A goal defines an outcome you want to achieve; an area of focus establishes activities you want to spend your time doing. A goal is a result; an area of focus is a path. A goal points to a future you intend to reach; an area of focus settles you into the present.目标定义了你想要获得的结果,目标范围明确了你想要花时间做的事。目标是结果;目标范围是过程。目标指出了你想要得到的未来;目标范围让你把握现在。How do you do it? It#39;s simple: identify the things you want to spend your time doing — or the things that you and your manager decide are the most valuable use of your time — and spend your time doing those things. The rest takes care of itself.那你该如何做呢?很简单:明确你想花时间做的事——或者你和经理觉得对你最有价值的事——然后花时间完成它们。其他的自会有解决之道。And in my experience, not only will you achieve at least as much as you would have if you had set goals, but you#39;ll enjoy the process far more, avoiding unnecessary stress and temptation.而且据我的经验,当你用这种方法设立目标后你不只会达成目标,也会更享受过程,并避免不必要的压力和诱惑。 /201301/218705

  espresso - a strong coffee brewed by forcing a small amount of nearly boiling water under pressure through fine coffee grounds  意式浓缩咖啡:意式浓缩咖啡口感香浓强烈,它是以少量将近沸腾的水、借由高压冲过研磨得很细的咖啡粉末而冲出来的咖啡。  cappuccino - a drink consisting of a shot of espresso with steamed milk and foam  卡布奇诺:卡布奇诺是在一份意式浓缩咖啡中加入蒸汽牛奶和泡沫牛奶。(传统的卡布奇诺咖啡是三分之一浓缩咖啡,三分之一蒸汽牛奶和三分之一奶泡)  latté - an espresso drink, but with more milk than a cappucino  拿铁:拿铁咖啡是意式浓缩咖啡与牛奶的经典混合。与卡布奇诺相比,拿铁中要加入更多的牛奶。  américano - espresso diluted with hot water  美式咖啡:加入热水稀释的浓缩咖啡。  mocha - a variant of a latté with chocolate added  卡咖啡:卡咖啡是在拿铁的基础上加入巧克力的咖啡。  macchiato - espresso with a dollop of hot, foamed milk  玛奇朵:玛奇朵就是在意式浓缩咖啡上加上一份热奶泡。  Starbucks Terms 星巴克专用  Frappuccino? - Starbucks brand of a coffee drink blended with ice  星冰乐:星巴克的招牌饮料,由意大利浓缩咖啡、低脂牛奶、砂糖、干果胶粉、可可粉、冰块混合而成。  Tall - 12 ounce, small size  中杯:约350ml  Grande - 16 ounce, medium size  大杯:约470ml  Venti - 20 ounce, large size  超大杯:约590ml- /201308/251686

  People who visit the ed States sometimes wonder how the states got their names. Some of the most interesting names came from American Indian (印第安人) languages.  访问美国的人们常常想知道各个州的名称是从何而来的。一些最有趣的名字来源于(美州)印第安人的语言。  For example, Illinois was named for the Indians who used to (过去常常) live in that part of the country. In their language, Illinois means ;Brave (勇敢的) Men;. Connecticut means ;At the Long River Mouth; in the language of the Indians who used to live there.  例如伊利诺州是因过去住在这一带的印第安人而得名的。在他们的语言中伊利诺是;勇士;的意思。康乃狄格(州)在过去住在那里的印第安人的语言中,表示;在长河的河口;。  Twenty-five of the states have Indian names, but other names were taken from different languages. Georgia and Pennsylvania have names which were taken from the Latin (拉丁语的) language. Florida and Colorado were named by Spanish (西班牙) people. States like New Hampshire and New Jersey were named after (以…命名) places in England.  有25个州用印第安人的名称命名,另外一些州的名字则从没的语言中得来。乔治亚和宾夕法尼亚洲的名字源于拉丁文。佛罗里达和科罗拉多是由西班牙人命名的。像新罕布什尔和新泽西这样的州名是按英国的地名命名的。  The two newest states have names which did not come from any of those languages. Hawaii got its name from a word in the Hawaiian language which means ;homeland; (家乡). Alaska was named by the Russians, from whom Alaska was bought in 1867.  最新的两个州的名字不是来自于那些语言。夏威夷是按夏威夷语中的一个词命名的,意思是;家乡;。阿拉斯加州是1867年从俄国人手里买来的,而它的名字也是由俄国人命名的。 /201305/238591I now know why I gained more than 30 pounds in my early 20s: I was lonely. I had left my beloved alma mater upstate for graduate school and a job in the Upper Midwest. I knew no one and felt like a fish out of water.现在我知道,在自己20岁出头时,为什么会猛增了30多磅体重了:我当时太孤独了。我告别了北方我深爱着的母校,来到美国上中西部边读研究生边工作。在那儿我举目无亲,感觉像是一条离开水的鱼。I filled my lonely nights and days with — you guessed it — food. Anything I could get my hands on, especially candy, cookies and ice cream. Food filled the hole in my soul, at least temporarily.在许多个黑夜和白天,我用吃东西来填充寂寞——估计你猜也猜得到。任何触手可及的东西我都会吃,尤其是糖果、曲奇和冰激淋。食物填满了我灵魂的空洞,至少暂时如此。No matter how hard I tried, I could not rein in my out-of-control eating until I returned to New York and my family, and began dating my future husband.不管我怎样努力,都没法摆脱业已失控的暴食,直到我回到纽约,回到家人身边,开始跟我未来的丈夫约会,这一切才停止。Loneliness, says John T. Cacioppo, an award-winning psychologist at the University of Chicago, undermines people’s ability to self-regulate. In one experiment he cites, participants made to feel socially disconnected ate many more cookies than those made to feel socially accepted. In a real-life study of middle-aged and older adults in the Chicago area, Dr. Cacioppo and colleagues found that those who scored high on the U.C.L.A. Loneliness Scale, a widely used psychological assessment, ate substantially more fatty foods than those who scored low. “Is it any wonder that we turn to ice cream or other fatty foods when we’re sitting at home feeling all alone in the world?” Dr. Cacioppo said in his well-documented book, “Loneliness, ” written with William Patrick. “We want to soothe the pain we feel by mainlining sugar and fat content to the pleasure centers of the brain, and absent of self-control, we go right at it.”据芝加哥大学(University of Chicago)获奖无数的心理学家约翰·T·卡奇奥波(John T. Cacioppo)说,孤独感会影响人们的自我调节能力。他援引了一项试验:感觉自己与社会脱节的参试者,相比觉得受社会接纳的参试者,所吃的饼干要更多。卡奇奥波曾和同事们在芝加哥地区做过一项研究,参加试验的是中老年人,他们发现那些在加州大学洛杉矶分校孤独感量表(UCLA Loneliness Scale,一项广为使用的心理学量表)中得分较高的人,比起得分低者,所吃的高脂食物要多得多。卡奇奥波与威廉·派特里克(William Patrick)合著有内容翔实的著作——《孤独感》,在书中他写道:“坐在家中,感觉自己与世隔绝,在这种时候狂吃冰激淋或其他高脂食物,这有什么好奇怪的?我们希望通过将糖和脂肪注入大脑的愉悦中枢来纾解心中的苦闷,在此时我们毫无自制力,直接将手伸向食物。”He explained that lonely individuals tend to do whatever they can to make themselves feel better, if only for the moment. They may overeat, drink too much, smoke, speed or engage in indiscriminate sex.他继续解释说,只要能让自己好受点,孤独的人们可以做出任何事情,哪怕只会感到片刻慰藉。他们也许会暴食、酗酒、抽烟、飙车,或者滥交。A review of research published in 1988 found that “social isolation is on a par with high blood pressure, obesity, lack of exercise or smoking as a risk factor for illness and early death, ” Dr. Cacioppo wrote.回顾1988年发表的一篇研究,卡奇奥波发现,“与世隔绝的感觉,与高血压、肥胖、缺乏运动、吸烟一样,构成了致病或早死的危险因素。”Even without indulging in unwholesome behaviors, Dr. Cacioppo and others have shown that loneliness can impair health by raising levels of stress hormones and increasing inflammation. The damage can be widesp, affecting every bodily system and brain function.卡奇奥波和其他研究者发现,孤独的人们就算不会沉缅于不健康的行为,但孤独仍会导致人体的压力激素水平上升,加剧炎症反应,进而影响健康。它可以对身体产生各种伤害,影响身体的各个系统和大脑功能。Lisa Jaremka, a postdoctoral fellow at Ohio State University, reported in January at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology that people who are lonely have higher levels of antibodies to certain herpes viruses, indicating more activated viruses in their systems. In another study, she found higher levels of inflammation-inducing substances in the blood of lonely people.俄亥俄大学(Ohio State University)士后丽莎·雅雷姆卡(Lisa Jaremka)在1月份的人格和社会心理学协会年会上做了一份报告,指出孤独的人对某些疱疹病毒可产生较高水平的抗体,这意味着他们体内含有更多活性病毒。她在另一项研究中发现,孤独的人血液中含有的致炎因子浓度较高。Chronic inflammation has been linked to heart disease, arthritis, Type 2 diabetes and even suicide attempts, Dr. Jaremka noted. People who are lonely also react more strongly to negative events and perceive daily life as being more stressful, which can depress the immune system.雅雷姆卡士指出,慢性炎症与心脏病、关节炎、II型糖尿病,甚至自杀企图有关。孤独的人在应对负面事态时,也易于做出更激烈的反应,并且认为日常生活压力重重,而这会抑制免疫系统。Loneliness can even influence how genes are expressed, Dr. Cacioppo has found. Loneliness predicted changes in DNA transcription that in turn dampened the body’s ability to shut off the inflammatory response, he reported. A study by Dr. Carla M. Perissinotto and colleagues at the University of California, San Francisco, assessed loneliness among 1, 604 older adults and followed them for six years. Those who were lonely were more likely to develop difficulties performing activities of daily living like bathing and dressing, using their arms and shoulders, climbing stairs and walking. Loneliness was also associated with an increased risk of death during the study period.卡奇奥波发现,孤独感甚至会影响基因表达。他指出,孤独感会预示DNA转录的变化,而这反过来会抑制机体关闭炎症反应的能力。加州大学旧金山分校(University of California, San Francisco)的卡拉·M·佩里西诺托(Carla M. Perissinotto)和同事们对1604名老年人的孤独感进行了评估,随访持续了六年。那些孤独的老人更有可能难以进行日常活动,比如洗澡和穿衣,使用胳膊和肩膀,爬楼梯和步行。在研究期间,孤独感与死亡危险上升也有联系。It’s not surprising that loneliness has also been linked to cognitive decline. A Dutch study published last year in The Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery amp;Psychiatry found that participants who reported feeling lonely — regardless of how many friends and family surrounded them — were more likely to develop dementia than those who lived on their own but were not lonely.不出人们所料:孤独感与认知功能减退也有联系。《神经病学、神经外科学与精神病学杂志》(The Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery amp;Psychiatry)去年刊登了荷兰的一项研究,研究发现感到孤独的参试者——不管他们身边事实上有多少亲友陪伴——相比虽然一个人生活,但并不觉得孤独的人,更有可能患痴呆症。The nearly 2, 200 participants, ages 65 to 86, were followed for three years and had shown no signs of dementia at the study’s start. About half lived alone, and 20 percent reported feeling lonely. After adjusting for other factors that are linked to cognitive decline, like age, feeling lonely was linked to a 64 percent increase in the risk of developing dementia, according to Tjalling Jan Holwerda of the VU University Medical Center in Amsterdam.阿姆斯特丹自由大学(VU University)医学中心的特亚林·简·赫尔威达(Tjalling Jan Holwerda)介绍说,这项研究调查了近2200名年纪在65岁到86岁间的老人,随访三年,在研究起始阶段所有人都未出现痴呆症症状。其中约半数独居,20%的人表示感到孤独。在排除了其他与认知功能减退有关的因素,比如年龄后,研究发现感到孤独,可使患痴呆症风险增加64%。This is not proof that loneliness causes dementia; the reverse could be true. People whose cognitive abilities begin declining may withdraw from others, the authors suggested. On the other hand, loneliness may result in “a lack of sensory and cognitive stimulation, ” which in turn reduces levels of nerve growth factors in the brain and may contribute to dementia.这并不能明孤独可导致痴呆,但反之可以成立。研究作者发现,认知功能开始减退的人可能会渐渐淡出社交生活。另一方面,孤独感可能导致“知觉和认知刺激缺失”,降低大脑中的神经生长分子水平,进而导致痴呆症发作。The Dutch study, among others, suggests that how people perceive their situation may have a stronger impact on health than whether they live alone and lack social connections. Divorced people have reported feeling lonelier in a bad marriage than they do being single. And people who live alone may still have a large network of friends and family that helps to keep loneliness at bay.荷兰进行的这项研究和其他调查显示,相比独居和缺乏社交纽带,人们对个人境遇的感知可能会对健康产生更剧烈的影响。离异人群表示,身处不幸的婚姻中,比独身更让他们感到孤苦。而独居的人或许拥有着一个庞大的亲友团,帮助他们击退孤独感。But according to Dr. Cacioppo, having many friends and family members around does not guarantee immunity from loneliness if the relationships are missing a strong emotional connection. The quality of these relationships — how meaningful they are to the individual — counts more than numbers in predicting loneliness, his studies and others have shown.但卡西普奥认为,如果社交关系缺乏强有力的情感联系,就算有众多亲友在侧,也无法担保人们能对孤独感刀不入。他和其他人的研究发现,社交关系的质量——也就是它对个体的意义有多么重大——比起数量,更能有效地揭示人们的孤独感。People are fundamentally social beings who require meaningful connections with others to maximize health and well-being. Dr. Cacioppo suggests reaching out to others with “random acts of kindness”: doing something that helps them physically or emotionally, maybe something as simple as complimenting a stranger’s outfit, leaving behind the change in a coffee machine, or helping an old person carry groceries or cross the street.人类本质上是社交生物,需要通过与他人建立有意义的联系来最大限度地取得健康与幸福感。卡西普奥建议大家可以做“随机的友善举动”,向他人递去橄榄枝:做些可以在身体或情感上有益他人的事情,哪怕只是易如反掌的小事,比如恭维一个陌生人的穿着,用完公用咖啡机后换上新滤纸,帮老人提购物袋或过马路。Next, try seeking out social activities that help others while fostering social contacts, like volunteering in a soup kitchen, ing to the blind or assisting in a classroom. Such actions can result in what Dr. Cacioppo calls the “helper’s high, ” establish new friendships and counter a feeling of aloneness.接下来,可以尝试参与帮助别人的社会活动,同时缔结社交联系,比如去施粥场做义工,给盲人读书,或去学校帮忙。这些行动可产生卡西奥波所谓的“帮助者高潮”,认识新朋友,同时抵御孤独感的侵袭。“What’s required, ” he wrote, “is to step outside the pain of our own situation long enough to ‘feed’ others. Real change begins with doing.” You won’t know whether what you do will result in a genuine connection to another person unless you try.“你需要做的,”他写道,“是从你个人身处的痛苦中走出来,去‘哺育’他人。真正的改变要从行动开始。”只有开始尝试,你才会知道自己做的事情是否能让你和别人建立真正的感情。While I have always been outgoing, since my husband’s death I’ve tried even harder to connect with people in ways that make us all feel good. For example, on learning that an acquaintance at the Y needed pants from a store I was going to pass, I offered to get them for her, an exchange that enriched us both.我一直为人外向,自丈夫去世后,我更努力地与别人交往,好让大家都觉得高兴。比方说,听说在基督教青年会(YMCA)的一位熟人想去一家商店取裤子,而我刚好要打那儿路过,于是我主动帮她取了,这桩小事让我俩都得到了快乐。 /201306/242396

  The rules of discussing class in Britain are, pleasingly, very like those of cricket. Once you know them, they seem incredibly obvious and intuitive and barely worth mentioning; if you don#39;t know them, they are pointlessly, sadistically complicated, their exclusivity almost an exercise in snobbery in its own right.在英国讨论阶级,令人愉快地就像板球的那些事。一旦你了解他们,他们似乎是令人难以置信的明显和直观,几乎不值一提;如果你不知道他们,他们毫无意义、残酷地复杂,他们的排他性在自己的权利范围内几乎是一个势利行径。Nowhere is this more evident and yet more tacit than in relationships: people marry into their own class. It#39;s called ;assortative mating;. You know this by looking around, yet there#39;s such profound squeamishness about it that research tends to cluster around class proxies. The question goes: ;Do you and your spouse share the same educational attainment?; (Translation: are you the same class?) Or: ;Did you go to the same university?; (Translation: are you really, really the same class?)没有哪比这更明显了,但在恋爱中更是心照不宣:人们选择门当户对的人结婚。这就是所谓的“同类配对”。你通过四处张望知道这些,但关于它如此严重地吃毛求疵以至于研究往往集中在阶级替代物周围。问题就到了:“你和你的配偶拥有相同的学历吗?”(言外之意:你们是同一阶层的吗?)或者说:“你们去了同一所大学吗?”(言外之意:你们真的、真的是同一阶层吗?)This trend is immune to social progress elsewhere. If anything, people are more likely than ever to marry into their own class, as a report from the Institute for Public Policy Research showed this year. Of people born in 1958, just over a third of women had a partner from the same class as themselves: 38% married up, while 23% married down. For those born in 1970, 45% married into the same class; of those born between 1976 and 1981, 56% married into the same class, with a far smaller proportion (16%) marrying up.这种趋势在社会进步的其他方面是免疫的。如果有什么的话,人们比以往任何时候都更愿意嫁进自己的阶层,从公共政策研究学院今年的一份报告显示。出生于1958年的人,刚刚超过三分之一的女性有一个来自他们自己阶层的伴侣:38%嫁入上层,而23%嫁入下层。对于那些1970年出生的人,45%嫁到同一个阶层,而在1976年和1981年之间出生的人有56%与同阶层的人结婚,更小比例(16%)的人嫁入上层。Even the phrases ;marrying up; and ;marrying down; are sullying to use. You can#39;t really escape the connotation that the rich are better than the poor. But I use them anyway, putting them in the grammatical equivalent of surgical gloves, because there is no right-on alternative: there#39;s no unsnobbish way to convey a difference in class between two people. The leftwards path is to pretend class doesn#39;t exist. Which is fine, but it#39;s also total horse manure.尽管短语“嫁入上层”和“嫁入下层”带侮辱地使用。你真的不能逃避富人比穷人更好的言外之意。但我无论如何使用他们,把他们置于外科手术手套的语法地位,因为没有正确的替代,还是没有不势力的方式来表达两个人之间的阶级差异。向左走是假装阶级不存在。这很好,但它也是完全的马屁。 /201210/204702

  Even death couldn#39;t keep a couple of 62 years apart.就算是死亡也无法将这对厮守62年的恩爱夫妇分开。An 85-year-old man died of cancer on November 29 at a nursing home in Kansas and just hours later his wife and constant companion followed him in death.11月29日在美国堪萨斯州的一家疗养院,一位85岁的老人因为癌症过世。仅仅几个小时后,他的妻子也是他一生的伴侣就追随他长眠不起。Melvin Cornelson and his wife Doris, the pair built a life together and were by each others side through thick and thin - so their family said they were not surprised that when Melvin died, his soul mate couldn#39;t bear to live without him.梅尔文-科纳尔森和妻子多莉丝,这对夫妇这么多年来一直生活在一起,不管遇到任何情况他们都在彼此身旁。梅尔文去世后,没有了他多莉丝根本活不下去。两人相继离世的事实家人并不觉得意外。#39;They#39;re together. They#39;re happy,#39; their daughter, Candi Sawatzky, told KWCH-TV, about the loss of her parents - just hours apart from each other.在谈到父母过世时,女儿康蒂对当地媒体KWCH-TV表示:“他们一直在一起,他们非常幸福。” 她的父母在同一天的几个小时内相继去世。The Cornelsons had met at a young age and they never dated anyone else. #39;They always stuck up for each other. Always. She said he was the first man she ever kissed and the only one she ever kissed,#39; Candi told the local news station.科纳尔森夫妇在很年轻的时候就认识了对方,他们也从来没有跟别的对象交往过。女儿康蒂表示:“他们一直都非常维护对方,一直都是。妈妈跟我说过,爸爸是她的初吻,也是这辈子她唯一亲吻过的男人。”They had celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary this year but as their health began to decline they moved from Oklahoma to Buhler, Kansas - to be closer to their daughter Candi.今年他们刚刚庆祝了结婚62周年纪念,不过因为他们的健康都是每况日下,所以他们从俄克拉荷马州搬到了堪萨斯州的布勒市,这样可以住得离女儿康蒂更近一点。Melvin passed away on November 29, after a battle with cancer, and Doris was right by his side to say farewell.After his death, Doris grieved the loss of her soul mate.梅尔文在11月29日因为癌症去世,多莉丝就在身边与他告别。丈夫的过世让多莉丝悲伤不已。#39;She sat with us all morning and planned some things. She went to bed at noon and never got up,#39; her daughter said.她的女儿表示:“整个上午妈妈都跟我们坐在一起,商量葬礼相关事宜。中午她去小睡,然后就再也没起来。” /201212/213100。




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